Rainbow Connection

Can't leave Ethan alone for more than 5 minutes... he makes all kinds of trouble!

On Saturday after his swimming class, I usually let him had a bath with Epsom Salt. He loves to have bath. He was in the bathroom, played with his toy boat in the tub, so I went to checked my email... I heard he had fun in the tub but by the time I went in!!!! He had poured half of the hand liquid soap in the tub... that's not all... when I cleaned the tub I found toothpaste as well. That night when I squeezed the toothpaste, it was really watery. The worst was he played with my toner and when I sprayed at night... it smelled wired. It's my expensive organic lavender toner, now I don't know what to do with it. Sigh...

Yesterday, after church we stayed home. HY was in the room working on his project, I was in the bathroom doing my business. I had the TV on for Ethan and snacks for him. It was very quiet in the living room when I came out. I went to the kitchen and saw him holding the detergent. I called him and he quickly put it down and ran out... and laughed! The detergent was everywhere! I tried to calm myself and drank some water... my mouth was filled with foam! Then I screamed... Ethan ran to HY and cried "Ah...Ba Ba! Ba Ba!" Yes, he filled the water bottle with detergent. This morning I found the tray in the washing machine filled with washing powder... hmmm....ahhhhh!!

Ethan + Alone = Trouble! That's a simple equation.

Ethan received his Merit Award today. I am very proud of him.

When he went on the stage to receive his cert, he seemed like very lost, but thank God his teacher was with him. Ethan made great progress after he attended Springboard at the Korean International School. Must be wonder if he takes Korean lesson, right? No, he's in the international session. Springboard is a integration class for special needs children. I am very thankful that he's able to get in. His teacher, Mrs.Thomson is a very very experienced and a wonderful teacher.

Ethan loves to go to school, and he loves Mrs. T. During his 3 days and 2 nights camp, he stuck with Mrs. T and he needed to whine off the habit of sticking to her after the camp. I am also very proud of him going to the camp without complaints and involved in all the activities during the camp. Thank God for his blessings!

It was a quiet celebration because we had two big one before that... one in Phuket and one in Disneyland. This year, we decided to bring Ethan along to our annual leave because he is so dear to us.

HY is definitely not a romantic guy... but a very caring guy and able to stand my temper... Haha, that's the important point! Long time ago, I told him not to send me flowers because I am allergic to pollens. After that, he really never send me any flower. Then I told him, he can send me flower once-in-awhile. Finally, I got some this year!

He sent me a few bunch of Lily... he told me it's my favourite white Lily. I looked at it and said it's pink... Then he laughed and said that's the whitest Lily in the florist. Well, my favourite flower is Camellia and Champagne Rose.

When I was young, I loved summer holiday... two months without school was very shiok!

Now I wish Ethan can go back to school asap. When he has no school, he bugs me a lot... and he has so much energy to spend that he verbal stims a lot. When he's in good mood, he can find things to entertain himself. I have put his books in the living room, he loves to read books, so that good! The only thing is he never put back in the right place. I put the books in order, from short to tall, but he just chucked in anywhere he wanted. Now I don't border to put in order. He loves to draw as well. He can draw his pictures with themes now, and you can see some logical in there. :) His playing skill is much better now, he plays his lego properly, not just stacking up. He has themes as well, of course, it revolves around his favourite... train, gate, lift. But at least he can build something that is physically and visually sound.

When he's in foul mood... I have to find thing to do with him. Last month, most of his friends were away for holidays, so it's difficult to set up play-dates for him. This month is better, he will have 3 play-dates this week. Then next week, we are going to Phuket for a week before the school starts! Looking forward to it... HY's mom will join us in Phuket. I hope the weather will be good, it's the monsoon season now. 

Ethan wakes up every morning with a smile! He's like he's ready to conquer the world... full of energy and hope! I am the opposite... morning is not a good time for me... grouchy and lack of the energy to pull myself up. That's something I have to learn from Ethan.

He is very contented as well. A simple chicken sandwich for dinner is like going to Macdonald's for a meal, simply enjoyed it! Playing in the playground is a treat to him, even for half an hour under the hot sun, he's happy about it. Everything that he likes, he would say "Come again!" or " I like it!" with a big cheeky smile. Life to him is simple - eat, sleep and play.

As an adult, there's so many thing you have to think and worry... it's difficult to live a simple life. Today, during the worship, one of the song really touched me, especially the lyric "I'll live a child in awe of you." Being "child-like" seems lost in me... things around me just dragged me down and they were so heavy that I don't have the strength to lift it up to the Lord! Today is a relieve, that I know God is always there... knowing my ups and downs, carrying me through in all circumstances.

Although Ethan might not really know what is the world about, he's enjoying every moment of it. He is an inspiration... but sometimes he's such a nuisance that I felt like pulling all my hair out and scream at him!

Been very busy eating lately! For the past one week, I was invited to different lunch, dinner, afternoon tea gatherings... all cramp into one week.

Monday, I had lunch at Baci with my Matilda moms. Tuesday, I had dinner with HY at a noodle place. Wednesday, I had lunch with Yau Mun and Catherine. Then at night I had dinner with HY's client from Guangzhou. Thursday was a rest day! Friday, I had a great afternoon tea in the Marriott cafe with Lucy, Milly, Nathaniel, Asha and Miranda! Saturday, I had lunch with Clare and her sister (HY's cousin) in Ming at Langham Place, very nice dim sum. Thank God, Sunday is a rest day! Today, again... dinner with my parents' uni classmates. Gee, how am I going to lose weight! Sigh!

I enjoyed all the meals, but all in week is kinda too much!

Haven't updated my blog for a long time... too busy and too lazy as usual.

Good news is Ethan is going to Springboard Project at Korean International School in June! I am so happy for him! He likes the school a lot and I like to it too!

There were quite many bad news, but I guess that's life! My 103 yrs old grandma was hospitalized for a month, she's out and getting better now. For a 103 yrs old lady, that's miracle... according to her doctor. My dad was hospitalized as well. He had pneumonia when he was on business trip to Singapore. Thank God, he's recovered, but just keep on falling sick!

Encountered some unreasonable HK parents... one made me burst into tears and hurt my back! One made me shouted at him. This is just not very me, but I have my moments and my limits are limited to certain point. All these are related to Ethan... I can't blame him, because he is who he is. Of course, I was supposed to be responsible for Ethan's behaviour, however these parents thought they were better parents than ME... gave comments and unfriendly looks! I really wanted to jump on them and gave them a good bash! So, friends, if you see kids throwing tantrums or act weird or very hyper... they might not be spoiled, they might be in the spectrum! Of course, there are spoiled kids around!!!

For myself... put on some weight... haha... too many good food! The house is in a mess! Couldn't get myself to tidy up seriously. I'll wait until Ethan is in KIS, then I'll have a better timing to clean up the house. Right now... my mornings are totally in a waste! My afternoons are just occupied with stuff. Anyway, I'll do it!

Finally! I have been waiting for this day for a long long time! Ethan finally had the courage to poo in the toilet bowl! Hurray! I know it's not a big thing for most people, but for Ethan... that's a huge accomplishment! It took a year for him to sit on the potty (with nappy), it took another year for Ethan to poo without any hint of nappy (he held a tiny portion of the nappy when he went poo) and that happened very recently! Today, it's the big day!! Liany and I were so happy that we cheered like Ethan won something!

For the past two months, we let him watched a toilet training show for special needs child. He loves it! He had to watch at least 3 times in a roll! Thanks to Aemy who lent me the tape! Of course we bribed him as well... like chocolate, yogurt and recently... trip to Macao! He loves the musical fountain at the... oh forgot the hotel name, but was one of new ones. Oh... Wynn's! When I told him we will take ferry to Macao if he poo in the toilet, the first thing he said was.. "fountain in Macao". Obviously, that was the best incentive! I love to go to Macao, so really don't mind to go there again!

Ethan is going to have an interview with the Springboard Project at Korean International School. It's a special needs support class integrated with mainstream classes at KIS. I really like this school... the program is good, 10 mins walk from my house... although quite expensive, it's a very good school. It is a 2-days interview, quite tough for Ethan, because he has problem with new environment. Even though he goes to KIS for his swimming class, but to him the school is for swimming only...

Pray for him!!!

Today, I wasn't feeling good... not because of anyone or anything, just me! PMS + stress! Stress of what? Preparing the CNY trip (Ethan's food and stuff), spring cleaning (I think I can never do it this year), a freelance job (no money!), ironing (HY's shirts), clear up the letters (2 months worth of letters).... all in one week!

When I read bedtime story (children's bible) to Ethan, we were reading Psalm 23! I was reading that yesterday also, I didn't feel much about it. But, when I read it today, my tears were like big raindrops... and I felt much better after that. Ethan was upset when he saw me crying and asked me to pet his head. Thank God for his assurance and great love. He knows exactly what I need the most!

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

 1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
       he leads me beside quiet waters,

 3 he restores my soul.
       He guides me in paths of righteousness
       for his name's sake.

 4 Even though I walk
       through the valley of the shadow of death, ^[a]
       I will fear no evil,
       for you are with me;
       your rod and your staff,
       they comfort me.

 5 You prepare a table before me
       in the presence of my enemies.
       You anoint my head with oil;
       my cup overflows.

 6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
       all the days of my life,
       and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
       forever.

The following is taken from "Mr Brown's blog" from Singapore. I know exactly how he feels, but you really can't do anything about! It took me 6 months to accompany Ethan in his Sunday school. When he changed age group... another 6 months with him. Thank God, he is settling well now. I hope he is able to cope for his next age group end of this year.

Ethan improves quite a lot recently. He's very bubbly, although still a lot of nonsense. There is more imaginative play and he is able to draw... quite creative. But he has a new interest... trash bins on the street! Thanks to him, now I realize in different area, the colour of the trash bins are different. Like on the street, it's usually dark purplish blue; it's green in the park; and facilities under LCSD management are having red trash bins. It's not funny, because he will tell you there is a bin wherever he sees one! Ahh.... really making me insane!

Take me as I am

It's always a challenge take the whole family to church on Sundays.

Isaac, aged 4, is not a problem. Joy, aged 2, is too sticky to be left alone in the church nursery.

And Faith, aged 6, needs supervision by one of us, or by our one of our helpers, or someone trained to deal with kids with autism. Although we have two domestic helpers, one would be on her Day Off that day.

So Isaac has been the only regular goer with us. Mommy wanted to change that, and suggested we try again on Sunday, to go as a full entourage.

We dropped Isaac off at his Sunday School, and asked the nursery if there was a way to accommodate Faith somehow. Our helper can manage both Joy and Faith at the same time, we said. And also, Faith has a passive manifestation of the condition and does not tantrum, hit others or herself. But we were told, sorry but Faith is too old to be placed with the small children, even with your maid's presence.

The volunteers suggested placing Faith in the older Sunday School class for her age group but we couldn't do that as the volunteers there were not trained to deal with special kids, and would not know how to deal with Faith's condition should she get overwhelmed by her surroundings, or needs her diaper changed.

In the end, the wife and I decided to take Faith with us to the service, knowing she will be okay for the first half, the worship, and knowing one of us will have to take her outside when the sermon started because she would be restless and noisy by then.

I understand the difficulty of accommodating families with special needs kids in a church that has to deal with hundreds of kids on a Sunday morning. But I could not help feeling sad.

When will Faith find her place in this society? When will she find her place in God's House? How do we plan to accept kids like her for who they are, in our families, in our communities, and in our places of worship?

Children with autism are not naughty uncontrollable kids, even if their behaviour is sometimes violent or disruptive. I should know, Faith came home from Special School a few days ago with bleeding bite marks on her left hand and her right forearm, courtesy of her more exuberant classmates. I just shrugged and said to the wife, we'll just have to tell the teachers to watch out for these moments and prevent them from happening. Her classmates who bit her did not mean to do it. Their sensory difficulties and communication problems can lead to these inappropriate social responses.

And you cannot tell from their faces either, that they are children with a very serious condition.

Kids with autism are kids who very often inhabit their own world with its own set of rules and its own sensory reality. But that does not mean our "normal" world should leave them there.

I held her in the worship service, singing the songs, clapping her hands, and I felt torn between the joy of worshipping with my daughter, and heartbroken that she was here because she had no where to go.

"Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"

-"Why" from the album "This Mystery", by Nichole Nordeman

Do I have one? NO! I seldom set any New Year Resolution, because I know I can never live up to it! So I just forget about it!

However, I have wishes! Wishes for Ethan... wish that he is able to connect to the world with a better sense... wish that he can out grown some of his rigid behaviours... wish that he understands people around him... wish that he can communicate better... wish that he's just like a typical boy... wish that a primary school will take him next year... so many wishes... wish that God will listen to all my wishes and answer most of them... I am greedy, yes, I know! I hope that God will not get upset with my greediness. He is a great God who loves to bless!

Happy New Year!

Ethan is able to express his feeling now. Yesterday, we were at the supermarket with my mom and brother. I gave him the long waited sorbet when we headed home. Ethan accidentally dropped some sorbet on the floor. He didn't scream or cry, just asked grandma to clean up the floor. Then he said, "Angry!", but continued to enjoy his sorbet.

He was very excited after dinner, I guess he liked to eat his grilled chicken. He told everyone that he was happy. He also tried to sing the song "If you are happy, clap you hands" with no tune.

Yesterday was Ethan's school field trip. They went to Tai Tong Laichi Farm. Since laichi wasn't in season, but there were other fruit around.

Ethan was really excited when we were in the horse stable. He didn't want to touch the horse, but just roaming up and down, checking on the horses. He tried to feed the horse a carrot, but was really frightened. So when it was time to have horse back riding, I was kind of hesitated. I asked Ethan if he wanted to have a ride. He said yes but I just kept on asking him. I put the helmet on him, he didn't struggle or refuse to wear. When it's his turn, he just ran to the horse and followed the instructor. I was thrilled! I thought he would have a tantrum but no... nothing! He was happy riding on the horse and couldn't stop to pat the horse. I think it's because he loves animals and he finally had a chance to ride on a real horse.

Thank God, that's a great improvement! We used to have a hard time just to get him on a Disney ride. When he was on the net climbing, he was all alone by himself without any help. I am so proud of him! He had a great time at the field trip... and fell asleep right-a-way on the bus!

Link

I used to have very thin skin, but after Ethan... my skin is getting thicker and thicker... but not as thick as him. If my skin is one inch, then his is two inch. Here are some example!

• Whenever we visited our GP, Ethan would asked him for candies (vitamin) the minute he went in the clinic. If the doctor gave him one bag, he would asked for another bag... so greedy!
• Last month, after Ethan's b-day party, we had loads of gifts from his friends, and it was a raining day. So his friend's (Edward) mom (YY) who lives in Kowloon gave us a ride home. After that, every time he saw YY, he would said "Take Edward's car!"  Last week, he even held on to YY and refused to take taxi with me. YY was very kind, and sent us home. It was really embarrassing. Strange thing is that he can remember the type and colour of the car, which he took once only.